Scott Haltzman, MD Psychiatrist and Author, exposes 10 infidelity myths on yourtango.com to help victims understand the dynamics of an affair and why it has happened to you.
You Get What You Wish For
According to Haltzman, “affairs often begin as friendships, which are followed by intimacy, which can then shift into a full-blown tryst.” Just because your significant other had an affair, does not mean they intentionally went looking for one.
Seeking The Younger, More Attractive Alternative
The high-profile case and example to debunk this myth is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s affair with the housekeeper. She clearly was not younger (and not more attractive) than Schwarzenegger’s wife.
End All, Be All
Over 50% of marriages can overcome an affair, with some work, of course. Your spouse has cheated, but that does not mean your marriage is doomed.
Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater
Repeat affairs are not few and far between, but according to Haltzman, “many affairs are a once and done thing. What happens after the affair can set a marriage on a course for stability or blow it out of the water.”
Problems in the Marriage Caused the Affair
Haltzman said it best with “There’s something wrong with every marriage.” So placing blame on the problems in your marriage means you clearly don’t know how to handle them in a healthy way.
All About Sex
Cheaters may be seeking emotional satisfaction once an affair begins, which typically leads to a physical connection between one another. If they’re not getting the emotional satisfaction they crave at home, they may seek for it elsewhere.
It’s Not Cheating if There’s No Sex
Emotional Infidelity is on the rise, especially with every social media outlet readily available. An intimate conversation with someone that may stir up feelings is still considered cheating.
All About Unmet Emotional Needs
Haltzman says, “Just as it is a myth that all affairs are just about sex, it’s also a myth that all affairs are just about unmet emotional needs. For some people – not the majority – an affair is just about going out and ‘getting laid.’”
Unhappy in the Marriage
Surveys suggest that the majority of cheaters do not want to leave their spouse or break up their marriage.
Just because your spouse had an affair does not mean that your marriage is beyond repair. It is possible to be happy again if you both commit to rebuilding.
Reach out to ICU Investigations if you feel your spouse may be cheating. We can provide you with the peace of mind you deserve. Suspicious? Get Answers.