Meagan McCrary, co-author of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags, composed the article “Infidelity Red Flags Confirmed By Real Women” (and the men who have experienced it), which highlights how women are more emotionally-driven in contrast to men when it comes to infidelity.
Red Flags:
1. Diverting the guilt: Women who are cheating may project those feelings onto their significant others by accusing them of cheating. “My girlfriend of three years all of a sudden started questioning my every move,” said Mark, 28. “Turned out she had slept with another guy.”
2. Sudden change in appearance: According to Sara, 27, “I typically showed up for my business school classes in sweats, no makeup, hair in a bun. I had a boyfriend; what did I care? Then I developed a crush on a guy in one of my classes. Soon enough, I was spending an hour to get ready for school, swapping my ratty sweats for cute dresses.”
3. Sudden need of more space: 29-year-old Jeff says, “My ex told me she needed some space, then went off to hook up with someone else.”
4. Complaints about the lack of romance in your relationship: According to Leslie, 39, “I’m one of those women who craves romance, cuddling, flowers, love notes, the whole shebang. I’ve reminded him that there are other fish in the sea. No change. So when a guy in my office started paying all sorts of attention to me, I went with it.”
5. A new “best friend”: “After living together for three years, I knew the relationship was over when my ex started spending all of her free time––and all of the time we had to spend together––going to the clubs with a woman she met in her spin class,” says Chris, 27. Wingwoman? Maybe. Has she cheated yet? Not necessarily. But she’s enjoying what it feels like to be living the single life!
6. Staying out all night: 27-year-old Sara said, “I told my boyfriend I was going out for drinks with a colleague and would meet up with him later in the night. Then a guy I had a crush on from work showed up. Hours later, I called my boyfriend to say I was ‘too drunk’ and needed to sleep at my friend’s apartment; then I went home with the guy.”
7. The people closest to you tell you she’s cheating: For the most part, the people that are closest to you are looking out for your best interest, so when they take the time to reveal that your significant other may be or is cheating, you should listen. “I knew someone who had firsthand knowledge my girlfriend was cheating,” says 28-year-old Mark. “But I believed her when she said it was a lie, because nobody wants to believe the worst, no matter how obvious it may be.”
8. A sudden interest in your schedule: Rachel, 36, says “My ex-husband was an electrician, and his work schedule was different from day to day. Sometimes he would be home at noon, sometimes not till 8 at night. When I planned to meet up with my fling, I would always call him in the morning to see where he was going to be later that day.”
9. She gives every excuse in the book not to have sex: “We stopped sleeping together because she didn’t ‘feel as close to me’ as she used to,” says Mark. “I’m assuming now that this was because she was feeling closer to the other guy’s naked body.”
10. She could care less…about everything: Jen, 30, says this about her and her husband’s relationship; “After being married for five years, our screaming and fighting faded into a general tolerance for one another. I was tempted to cheat on a few occasions and even took a guy’s phone number. I was desperate for a little excitement.”
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