Contrary to popular belief, there are ways to identify particular signs that a spouse/significant other may be considering cheating. In an article by Denise Mann in a WebMD feature, Frances Cohen Praver, PhD, a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst in Locust Valley, N.Y., and the author of Daring Wives: Insight into Women’s Desires for Extramarital Affairs, you are able to recognize these red flags and take necessary action to find proof.
1. Crying for Help
“The most common warning is when a partner tells you something is amiss and you don’t believe it,” Praver says. “He or she may say, ‘This marriage isn’t working,’ or ‘I am not happy.’”
2. Sudden Change in Appearance
Is your husband or wife changing their activity levels/workout habits? Has she unexpectedly ditched the sweatpants and swapped them out for more sexy, revealing tops and dresses? Has he decided to bulk up at the gym and “cover” his grays? This is a tell-tale sign they may be looking elsewhere.
3. Negative Criticism
“If your partner says, ‘You need to see a psychiatrist,’ ‘You need help,’ ‘Get a job,’ ‘Lose weight,’ or ‘Go to the gym,’ and is constantly critical, it’s all part of the same theme — which is that there is something wrong with you,” says Elizabeth Landers of Gross Pointe, Mich., co-author of THE SCRIPT: The 100% Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat.
“Unconsciously, they are setting it up to say their partner was nuts and wouldn’t even go for help.” Another tip-off is when he or she starts picking fights about something you are good at, so you fight back and then he or she calls you argumentative,” she says. “These things happen 100% of the time.”
4. Lavish Guilt Gifts
Has your husband been unexpectedly buying you prolific gifts for no specific rhyme or reason? According to Landers, “Sometimes it’s a guilty, look-the-other-way gift or a see-I-am-really-a-good guy-even-if-I-leave-you gift. It may seem normal to think, ‘He’s obviously not cheating; he just gave me this gorgeous bracelet,’ but don’t be fooled,” she says.
5. Cold Shoulder at the Company Party
“If you get the cold shoulder at your husband’s company holiday party where everyone used to be friendly, it’s a sign,” Landers states. “His colleagues know about the affair and figure you are on the way out, so why be nice? Or your partner has been making critical comments about you so they think you are no good.”
6. Sneaking Around
Does your significant other get up and leave the room to take phone calls, when they hadn’t before? Did she suddenly put a password on her phone? Is he going out “with the guys” every Saturday night when he used to spend it with you, on the couch, clad in pajamas? “If you see that a person is not around that much and is gone on different nights, something may be up,” Landers states.
7. Once a Cheater…
We have all heard the term, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” Most definitely an over-generalization, but John Van Epp, PhD, a therapist in Medina, Ohio and author of the forthcoming How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk: the foolproof way to follow your heart without losing your mind says, “There are exceptions and people can change patterns in their life, but if we are talking about red flags, history is a red flag.”
If your significant other has engaged any of these signs, contact ICU Investigations and we will discreetly and covertly prove your suspicions with highly trained surveillance professionals.
Contact our office today for a consultation.