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  • Dean Smith

5 Reasons Men Cheat

Bob Tomes of gives us a male perspective on why men cheat based on his life and conversations he’s had with other men.

What are they really looking for?

  1. Emotional connection. Once the honeymoon stage is over (complete with struggles, fights, ups and downs, etc.), for some, it may be hard to get back to that lovey-dovey, emotional connection that couples once shared. When meeting someone new, those struggles aren’t present and they are encountered by a new, exciting relationship that ignites an emotional response.

  2. Appreciation. He’s not getting positive affirmations and appreciation at home? It starts to get old. Someone else may be willing to appreciate his hard work if he’s not getting it at home.

  3. Intimacy. According to Tomes, “Men want a partner who will listen, who will volunteer information about their own lives and discoveries and someone who smiles and excitedly shares their hopes and dreams.” After being together for a decent amount of time and life becomes centered inward instead of experiencing what’s on the outside, men have the tendency to get, well, bored. “We’re married, I know everything about you.”

  4. Feeling wanted. Everyone wants to feels wanted. A man wants to feel like a man. According to Tomes, “As life moves along, a man can often feel like his contribution is taken for granted and who he is, as opposed to what he can provide, becomes less important. In a new relationship, suddenly he matters again.”

  5. Sex. The elephant in the room. Besides the obvious physical needs, sex provides a man with numbers 1 through 4 (emotional connection, appreciation, intimacy, feeling wanted).

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